Not everyone’s a natural at the game of love. That’s where James Norton comes in. The Co-Owner of Professional Pickup serves as DC’s very own Hitch—helping men build the courage to approach beautiful women and use that courage to add to their success in life. So why would any macho, self-respecting man pay for this service? “The truth is a lot of men simply do not know how to approach a woman,” says Norton. “And much of what’s out there to help these men is just weird and creepy. Our way is carefree, natural, and shows the real you.”
So after the hundredth lousy pickup line and just plain awful dates, Twenty Something decided it wouldn’t hurt to jot down a few notes.
Twenty Something: What can a guy do TODAY to improve his game?
James Norton: A lot of people believe in lines and routines and those things just do not work because they sub-communicate that the real you is not worth knowing. It’s a way of hiding who you are. Seriously I want guys to go out and fail more. Just because the more you do it, the less anxious you are. Once you get rejected more and more you can develop your skills. We have a phrase we use, it’s called “open, fail, get over it.” A guy going over and saying hello is so much better than the one standing at the side of the bar for 3 hours.
TS: The rules of dating are less traditional now, but I for one, will never ask a guy out. Does that mindset help or hurt a woman?
James Norton: Nowadays it’s more acceptable to have one-night stands and friends with benefits. So that means women are more open to these things. And more and more women are not shy about asking a man out. But if a man sees a beautiful woman across the room, I want him to have the courage to approach her and tell her she’s beautiful.
This is all about courage and that courage bleeds into the rest of your life. It gives you the courage to ask for that raise at work or live the life you’ve always wanted to live but were too afraid to.
TS: Are some men just a lost cause?
James Norton: I wouldn’t say lost cause– some just need a lot more help than others. There are certain students who you have to get deep with because they have more things going on than you are more capable of doing. There’s only so much I can do. I’m not a therapist; I’m a dating coach.
What’s your game like?
James Norton: I’m actually pretty relaxed and chill. I’m a big guy– about 6’1, 220 pounds– so my style is different because I’m such a domineering person I can come off as super aggressive. I have a life. I have passions and I talk about them. I think it’s all about intent. You can go out and talk to a girl but there has to be that sexual intent. Like, I like you more than just friends. A girl needs to know where this is going. That’s why if I see someone I like I just go for it. Men need to stop being afraid of rejection and show intent.
Do guys get confused after the first battle? What do they need to do to keep the relationship going?
It goes back to the lines and routines. A lot of these guys go out there and they have this movie trailer in their heads but after a few hours they run out of material. You have to have an open heart and curiosity in the relationship. Keep discovering and growing in the relationship.
Ursula Lauriston is the author of Twenty Something, a social diary blog where she sounds off weekly on dating, D.C nightlife and events, career etiquette, and more. During the day, Ursula stays in step with the pulse of DC with her work as a Deputy Press Secretary on Capitol Hill. Follow me on Twitter.