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Play By the Rules BY MICHAEL STRANGE The other night, Mr. Strange and I had dinner at the residence of the couple who come closest to being our best friends here in the capital of contingent friendships. Our host, the ambassador, and his wife, the heiress, said it was cheeky of me to point my finger at recent examples of powerful people behaving badly. "It's like no one taught them the playground rules," I complained. Our hostess shot back, "it's not like you play by the rules, darling." Okay, fair enough. But I'm not an elected official, the appointed head of an institution, or a political appointee, nor do I answer to stockholders. Maybe I do expect certain special favors - to be well-seated at dinner or to have aisle seats at the opera, for example. But I say "please" and "thank you," and strive to avoid anything that might need to be "gotten away with." That loud rumble you heard across the city a few weeks ago was not thunder but the collective "what was he thinking" when it went public that Paul Wolfowitz more than looked out for his girlfriend at the World Bank. What rulebook did he consult? The ruling class playing by its own rules is not new, however. Remember Leona Helmsley? Back in the day, a tax fraud conviction got her 18 months at the federal lockup in Danbury, after which she resumed a life of business success and wealth, but as a social pariah. Why? Because she committed the crime of haughtiness. Some people might forgive the tax fraud, particularly because she did her time, but no one forgave those suicidal words she supposedly spewed to the housekeeper: "We don't pay taxes. Only little people pay taxes." That ensured an "ouch" in every zipcode where big people employ the little people. Clearly Mrs. Helsmley wasn't vaccinated against the virus unique to the rich, famous and powerful. It's the "high and mighty disease" and it makes people believe that their job, their bank account, or their frequency as a bold face name means they don't have to live by the same rules as mere mortals. While there are other notorious cases of the virus in New York (Martha Stewart) and Los Angeles (Michael Jackson), it's long been epidemic in this town, too, where playing by the rules - just like stopping at red lights - is a relative thing. I'm convinced the phrase, "Don't you know who I am?" was first uttered to some hapless maÎtre d' in Washington. It starts small with fixing traffic tickets and jumping lines, but can lead to errors in judgment that at best cause embarrassment and at worst involve a special prosecutor, indictments and a conviction. Who needs that? Don't they know that just like Santa Claus, the guys with the badges and subpoena power will find out - eventually - who was naughty and who was nice? And what's become so difficult about these two little words: "I'm sorry?"
I think I know where the problem starts - Washington is awash with people who come here from humble backgrounds to serve in the House or Senate, or take a job at the White House, and who begin to believe the private subway cars, chauffeured Suburbans, enabling security, special access passes, exclusive elevators, and servile staff mean they've graduated to a new rule book. They lose their way, and next they're stuffing money in refrigerators, sending salacious email to pages, playing "To Tell the Truth" with the Feds, or believe Ambien, alcohol and an automobile are an okay combination after midnight. You'd think almost anybody who had a job in Washington would have an implicit appreciation for the spirit of playing by the rules. I want to let affable Lawrence Small off the hook, because to get billionaires to give big checks to the Smithsonian you have to entertain with more than cheese squares, pretzels and a jug of Kendall Jackson. But Larry, the rules are the rules. If you needed to get the pool spruced up for a summer shindig, why didn't you just ask? The halls of hubris are lined with a roster of notable names who thought they didn't have to play by the rules and then got brought down by them. There are surely more to come. Even our president seems to have forgotten the rule about not abusing the trust of the American people - and his breaking that one has put a strain on almost everything, social or otherwise, that goes on here these days. George Washington, in his "Rules of Civility and Good Behavior," included a rule that should be memorized and then recited daily by every powerful person in this town: "Labour to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience."
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